The 2009 Battle of the Bards is Tonight!!!

And I need you to be there! On top of the judge's award, there's an audience award, and the best way to win that is to PACK THE HOUSE, n'est-ce pas? (This is the event I told you about last week here.)

Tickets were going fast yesterday, and they stop online ticket sales at noon today. But you can still follow this link for show information and get tickets at the door.

And just so you know the most important particulars, the Battle is at the Canal Room (West Broadway, south of Canal) with doors opening at 6 and the show starting at 7:30. Free boozing 6 - 7, and each of the plays is 10 minutes long WITH A TIMER. That's right, anyone that goes over 10 gets kicked off the stage. Ma-Yi (my play) is going up third.

So what did I write? A queercore, punk ass, Pansy Division-inspired piece of craziness about buying a TV. It's not to be missed. Seriously.

Mischief

So Ishta Yoga, the place where I practice (who, by the way, are having an open house on 2/28), has these changing rooms. In the changing rooms, there's a hook where you can hang up your stuff while your getting ready for class.

Lately, the less considerate yogin(i)s have taken to hanging their clothes up in the rooms and leaving them there, as though they are the only people who will ever need the hooks. And this is in spite of the fact that there is an entire hangar rack about 8 ft. away.

I can't tell you how often I'm tempted to take a few of their articles of clothing or a boot or something out of one changing room and hang it on a hook in another changing room. Just so they get in there and panic. I don't want to steal anything or get anyone to actually lose their stuff. I just want them to be more thoughtful about the other people in the studio.

I'm so, so tempted...

Look at me!

Or rather, look at the things I'm looking at! I actually updated the Playtime Picks. Will my updates be more regular? Who the eff knows? But you have to admit, I've been pretty good about blogging this week. I'm trying not to pressure myself too much, so I don't view blogging as a burden, but rather as the tool it was intended to be.

As for the picks, here's a bit more on the one's that I haven't already blogged about (those previously blogged ones would be Red Rover and The IT Crowd).

Milk

I'm a total Gus van Sant hater. I never really liked My Own Private Idaho and Psycho (his nearly shot-by-shot remake of the Hitchcock film) is what finally pushed me over the edge. The way he samples other films usually seems lazy, unnecessary, and annoying to me.

But my love of Harvey Milk and his kind treatment of the title person trumps my annoyance with GvS. Sure there's a stupid iPod commercial phone tree moment. And, yes, he copies a lot of footage (A LOT of footage), but it's of news reels and makes sense in this context. I get all of the criticism about the violent context of SF and queer life in Milk's time doesn't seem too present. But I have to say that I appreciate the film's positioning Milk as a hero rather than as a victim. We've heard that story. It's time for gay people to feel empowered because we're great and NOT just because we're under attack. Which is to say: Milk -- it does this body good.

Gary Jules

I heard him perform on KCRW's Morning Becomes Eclectic (a la iTunes Podcast). What a frickin' awesome voice and beautiful lyrics. Love it.

The Sluts

This is the most disgusting piece of pornography I have ever read in my life and for all the right reasons. Talk about pushing the boundaries of my consciousness, this shit fucked me in the head. Approach with caution, but I highly recommend it.

The Week in Rey, Eff-ing Crazy Edition

Okay, so two of the oddest things I've ever written are going up next week. These are totally fun, not at all serious, but still (somehow) as ass-kickingly political as anything else I've ever done. I just can't escape myself.

On Monday and Tuesday (2/16 and 2/17), Prospect Theater's Dark Nights are presenting RED ROVER, a children's show/gore fest of ABCs, 123s, and MURDER. The show is fresh from the Vampire Cowboy's Saturday Night Saloon Series and will be performed at the West End Theater. Tickets are $15. Here are links to Prospect's website and to a Facebook group (if you're into that).

On Friday (2/20), I will be representing Ma-Yi in Partial Comfort's 2009 Battle of the Bards. As instructed, I have written the vulgarest, gayest, trash-talkingest 10-minute play ever. It'll kill ya, f'real. Tickets are $15, but if you need a discount code try PCP10 for $10 tickets. There will be free beer from 6 - 7, everyone from Andrew McCarthy to Suzan-Lori Parks to Daniel Sunjata to John Slattery will be there, and the plays go up at 7:30 (mine will be 3rd). There is an audience award for this event, so I really need you to show up and cheer and applaud and scream REALLY LOUD as I defend Ma-Yi's title. Once again some links to Partial Comfort's website and to a Facebook Event.

I hope you can join me for some scary, gory, sexy, crazy, brainy fun!

My Tits are Hot!!!

Alex and I have been watching The IT Crowd obsessively -- we saw three episodes this weekend alone! It's absolutely hilarious and totally quotable. Kind of like AbFab for nerds. Click here (for some reason the embedding for the clip I want to show has been disabled).

And take a look at this one, too:

Kim's Underground, Mondo Kim's, and now Kim's Sicily

The next stop for Kim's Video's amazing collection is Salemi, Sicily. It will be under the stewardship of an anarchist mayor, an alderman of creativity, and an alderman of nothing.

Wha - haaa?

Yeah, that's what I said. Check out this article in the NYT, though:

La Dolce Video, New York Times, February 6, 2009

I remember Kim's Underground in that Bleecker Street basement. It was the third branch of the store and the original "big" Kim's location -- that's why the Mondo Kim's sign says Kim's Upground. Yes, I'm old, and I've lived here for a long time. (Check out this photo of it by Lindsay R. Graber.) I managed to rent Derek Jarman films there before they were available in the U.S. Kim's fostered my love of Chinese movies. They were the original reason I was able to see Neon Genesis Evangelion, Kieslowski films, and The Star Wars Christmas Special. And, once upon a time, they had laserdiscs and gay porn. I understand why it's gone; I can't believe that people blame Mr. Kim for its demise and export to another country; and I understand that it's the end of an era.

I mean, we're none of us blameless, right? I've got three Netflix rentals sitting on my shelf right now. It was too much of a pain to commute to the East Village from Queens to satisfy my media addiction.

By the way, anyone know who much airfare from JFK to Salemi is?

I'm Pretty Damn Excited

Dollhouse premieres next Friday, 2/13 at 9PM.